50 shades of rubbish

For millions of women the week opened with a spicy perspective: 50 shades of gray came out the 14th of February, and most of the girls choose Saint Valentine’s pretext either to torture and/or turn on their boyfriends, either to spend a funny dreamy evening between singles.
I had better to do, and no better company than my mom, so I started the week very well.

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I couldn’t figure out how a film treating this issue could come up well, in spite of my girlfriends recommending it; and in fact after the vision I stay with my opinion. Actually actors, music, photography, cuts are very well taken, it is the plot in himself that doesn’t fit anywhere. I read the book and after the first episode I shut it quite disgusted and didn’t go ahead buying (my mum did!). It is so absurd and out of reality: he’s awesomely young, rich, active and controlling – and this is an hypothetical period of unreality already -; she’s a 21 years old student commonly brunette, clumsy and VIRGIN – that is not only uncommon in the XXI century all over the civilised world, but totally improbable and idealistic especially when facing a Mr control freak Grey!! A contract of submission appears almost immediately after he starts stalking and kidnapping her – he comes to save her when she’s drunk and this make him falling deeper in his anxiety of control -, and floats over the couple – because he actually FALLS IN LOVE so the prohibition of kisses, hugs and sweet words fades away and there’s no much harsh BDSM, the tingle coming just by the vision of the “Red Room of Torture” – for the whole film. It is boring and there are holes, plus beating a woman even for “a game” isn’t sane and sexy to preach; it should not be seen as something exciting in machos that seemingly don’t exist. But Anastasia pouring tears for some beatings at the end and escaping is ridiculous. She’s a mix of the popular opinion (of the XIX century!) of a good girl to marry: English’ literature student, no men previously, sensitive and curious at the point to be disarmingly stupid. He gives her everything and fucks her out of the famous contract finally, but she still asks him WHY he’s with her and what are his problems. You can hide a book to a teenager, but when over 14 years old (or even less, as there’s no control) you will feel curious and obliged to go watching the film what happens? The education given is so scandalous and unrealistic that Twilight’s preaching of the existing of good vampires that eat animals and are chaste with humans make sense.
Where are the classic bitings and scratchings? Women, start using your weapons to keep and brand your macho man instead of fantasising over fictions….

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